The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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