All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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