That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
jump out the window naked night went bad
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