we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
