LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
