our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
