i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
