is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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