YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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