You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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