You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
