is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
