I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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