in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
