shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
worst night to have a conscience
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
