Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
