Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
