dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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