I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
