Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He passed out mid-signature
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
