I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
