i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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