Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
