i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
