Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
with your own penis?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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