I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
