trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize