considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
