I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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