I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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