If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
