So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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