dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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