She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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