U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well you can't waste a boner
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
