That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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