i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Randomize
