come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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