if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
