I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
