Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
