i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
