3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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