Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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