I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
