Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
