Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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