hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
