I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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