Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
