I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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