Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
