Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
