At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
