Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
