I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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