How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
