...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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